


Post-Halloween Case Report

by havocthecat



Category: Brooklyn Nine-Nine (TV), Call of Cthulhu - Fandom
Genre: Cultists, F/F, Femslash, Fpreg, case fic of a sort, xover
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-18
Updated: 2014-10-18
Packaged: 2018-02-21 16:12:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,437
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2474390
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/havocthecat/pseuds/havocthecat
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Amy is caught staring at Rosa while writing up the report of their time undercover on a roller-derby team. Also there were cultists.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Post-Halloween Case Report

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Tamoline](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tamoline/gifts).



"Caught you staring again," murmured Gina, ambling by Amy's desk on her way back from the coffee pot. Amy snapped her gaze from Rosa's ass and started typing her report. Again. Gina must have been hung over; this was her tenth mug of coffee this morning. She also wasn't moving very fast. Or at all, which was a bad sign. Not for Gina's health, but for Amy's sense of dignity. 

Gina leaned over Amy's shoulder, one finger tapping on her coffee mug and reading Amy's report out loud - "Detective Diaz wore a low-cut black shirt to the bust and--"

"Oh my God!" exclaimed Amy, and obviously wasn't thinking, because she actually put her hands up over her monitor instead of doing something smart, like alt-tabbing or turning off the screen or maybe throwing the computer out the window or anything else. "Stop being so nosy, Gina!"

"I don't see how Detective Diaz's outfit has anything to do with the case," drawled Gina, except she was sing-songing 'Detective Diaz' and started making gestures at her neckline. "Like, you were taking down a drug ring, and you're talking about Rosa's busts. Sublimination much?"

"I wanted to make it clear that Rosa was dressing the part," said Amy, trying to sound lofty, but she knew she'd failed, she knew it and couldn't stop sounding just a little too petty. "We were trying to infiltrate a gang of lesbian roller-derby drug dealers. Rosa might have to use that cover again if we didn't catch all of them!"

"Mm-hmm," said Gina. This close, Amy could see that her eyes are bloodshot, but she didn't smell like alcohol. Maybe she'd been up for three days straight again. Gina had a habit of doing that around the anniversary of Dagon rising from the seas and flooding Manhattan. She swore it wasn't her fault, but Floorgasm had been seen dancing on the beach just before it happened and Gina was the only one out of the entire dance troupe that was still coherent once the waters receded. Not sane - Gina had never been sane - just coherent. 

"So did you and Detective Diaz _do it_ while you were undercover?" Gina chortled. Amy had never heard anyone chortle before, but Gina was a chortler. "You know the two of you were only supposed to pretend to be girlfriends, right?"

"Did you forget they're a demon-worshipping sex cult?" asked Rosa, straightening up from the file cabinet. "We had to go to half a dozen orgies and at least three of them were preceded by animal sacrifices. There was sex. A lot of it. To keep our cover."

"So the two of you really did get your sapphic shebang on? asked Gina, her head bobbing slowly as she looked back and forth between Amy and Rosa. "Wow. That's, like, totally awesome. Lesbian sex rituals."

"It was good sex. I didn't expect Santiago to be good at it. But she was." Rosa held up one hand and made a scissoring motion with her fingers. 

"Excuse me!" exclaimed Amy. "I am very good at everything I do." She narrows her eyes and glares at Rosa. How dare she think Amy wouldn't be good at lesbian sex? Even if she'd only had heterosexual sex before. Rosa should know not to doubt her. " _Everything._ "

Gina's chortling turned into a full-out guffaw. "Including turning undercover lesbian?" 

"Oh, God, yes, even that," groaned Amy, slumping forward onto her desk. "I am really good at being a lesbian."

"You're really good at being bisexual," said Rosa, and Amy didn't blush. She _didn't_. "I mean, unless you only want to bang chicks from now on. What do you want?"

"I'll let you know when I decide," muttered Amy, her voice muffled. She didn't ever want to hear Gina and Rose laughing at her. Ever again.

"That's okay. We can keep having sex while you decide. You are pretty good at it."

Amy was not going to look up. Well, she might, but she wasn't going to look at Gina. Maybe just Rosa. Who she could hear smirking, but Rosa was sexy when she got smug.

"Why was I not cut in on any of this amazing lesbian action?" asked Gina plaintively.

"Because you're not a cop and you can't go undercover," said Rosa flatly. "Also, Santiago is my girlfriend. Get your own demon-worshipping roller derby star."

"Well, I would have if you'd invited me along!" exclaimed Gina.

"I am not a demon-worshipper!" exclaimed Amy, bolting upright. "Except for the occasional All Hallow's Eve in place of midnight mass. Okay, fine. I am _generally_ not a demon worshipper."

"Wow, Amy, I had no idea." Gina wandered over to the wall, weaving and dipping around before she leaned against it and sank down to sit on the floor. "You know, as the acting director of Floorgasm, we're looking to recruit new members who have a working knowledge of the Great Old Ones and enough coordination to learn a few simple dance moves. You might have the right stuff."

Amy blinked at Gina. Maybe if she didn't say anything, Gina would give up and go away. Except that this was Gina.

"You worship one of the Old Ones?" asked Rosa. She narrowed her eyes at Amy suspiciously. "Which one?"

"Um." Amy shrank back under the combined force of Gina's curiosity and Rosa's Rosaness. "Old One?"

"Yeah, you said you go to All Hallow's Eve Sabbats instead of midnight mass sometimes," said Rosa. She crossed her arms and stalked toward Amy.

Amy's eyes crossed as she stared at Rosa. "Shub-Niggurath?"

"The Black Goat of the Woods With a Thousand Young?" asked Rosa. "That Shub-Niggurath?"

"She does have seven brothers," said Gina, pulling out her phone. "And she's always talking about how she has 'like, a thousand sisters.' It's probably hereditary. She'll probably pop out a dozen or so kids pretty soon." 

"What?" asked Rosa.

"Just be sure not to send me an invitation to the shower," said Gina, pointing at Rosa. "You get to organize it. Amy's going to be too knocked up and you're going to have to spoil her rotten."

"Or what?" Rosa crossed her arms.

"Or Shub-Niggurath's going to be mad," said Gina. "Plus Amy's going to give you that cute little pouty face that gets you to do anything."

"Doesn't matter," said Rosa. "She's not pregnant, and anyway, it's not like I can get her knocked up."

"Yes, I am," squeaked Amy.

"You're what?" Rosa's voice was ice. "That's not possible."

"I'm pregnant!" exclaimed Amy, pushing back from her desk and standing up. She whirled and grabbed Gina's coffee and took a swig of it, then choked and started coughing it out on her desk. "Oh my God, this is gross. What the hell did you put in this?"

"A little scorpion venom, a few cobra eyesm, and I think maybe just a skosh of Sumatran tiger fur." Gina leaned over and plucked the mug out of Amy's hand. "You know, you could grow a third eye if you drink too much of this stuff."

"How are you pregnant?" demanded Rosa. "I can't knock you up. I'm a woman. Women don't knock each other up. Wait, I'm feeling sick. Does that mean I could be pregnant? How could I be pregnant?"

"Maybe?" Amy's face twisted just like it did when she'd disappointed Captain Holt. "The Santiago family is very fertile."

"Dual lesbian pregnancies!" Gina clapped her hands together and somehow managed to avoid spilling her coffee all over. "Will there be tentacles? Are you going to get cute matching baby sweaters and tentacle onesies?"

"You know if we bust out a couple of those roller derby cultists we can probably start a lesbian demon commune," said Rosa, shrugging and glancing toward the lockup. "On our off-hours."

"They would be free babysitting," mused Amy, grinning at Rosa. "Um. You know we're the only ones here, other than Gina. If they're free babysitting, I'm up for it. But wait, only if their lawyers get them out! I love being a cop. I can be a cop and a cultist too, right?"

"Okay, fine. You can be a cop and a cultist." Rosa yanked Amy into a kiss. Amy gasped and waved her hands around until she figured out what to do and grabbed Rosa's jacket.

"Wow," said Amy, pulling back after at least five minutes. Rosa didn't have any lipstick on, so Amy reached for a tissue and started wiping lipstick off her face. "Wow, that was awesome."

"Yeah, it kind of was." Rosa broke into a grin. "But no tentacles, okay?"

"I'll do my best," promised Amy. 

\--end--


End file.
